Daily Demons
“I don’t know what I want in life. I don’t know what I want right now. All I know is that I’m hurting so much inside that it’s eating me, and one day, there won’t be any of me left.”
“I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled. The one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn’t brighten her own.”
“Life is like a movie. If you’ve sat through more than half of it and its sucked every second so far, it probably isn’t going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. Noone should blame you for walking out early.”-Doug Stanhope
“Everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek. I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don’t know what to do. I just know the pain I felt so long ago, it’s hurting ten times more.”
“Suicide is a form of murder - premeditated murder. It isn’t something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind It’s important to cultivate detachment. One way to do this is to practice imagining yourself dead, or in the process of dying. If there’s a window, you must imagine your body falling out the window. If there’s a knife, you must imagine the knife piercing your skin. If there’s a train coming, you must imagine your torso flattened under its wheels. These exercises are necessary to achieving the proper distance. The debate was wearing me out. Once you’ve posed that question, it won’t go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won’t. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark—why not kill myself? Missed the bus—better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie—maybe I shouldn’t kill myself. In reality, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy.” ― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted
(Source: atomsbabe)
Time
I often wonder if anyone ever looks at time and the influence in has to completely change any given moment. Our entire lives are just periods of time that have led to something that changes everything. That moment you looked someone in the eyes and said goodbye and walked away, the last second of your best friend’s life, that moment someone tells you that your whole life was a lie…all of these things are monumental in the orchestration of our life, yet they only lasted seconds, minutes, hours. I am 25 years old today and can still think of moments in my life that have added up to something big. The moments in my life that have completely changed me…there’s no going back…everything keeps moving forward, but a small piece of ourselves lie behind us never to be retrieved again. I have often thought about those moments when relationships have ended only for me to realize that the past ___ years of my life were a lie. How you do even comprehend such a waste of something you will never get back?
Time just keeps on ticking and no matter how we beg for it to stop, it never listens. That perfect moment when you are snuggling with the one you love, making love, kissing, etc…you beg for time to stop in that perfect moment, yet it never does. In some ways, life just steals seconds, minutes, hours, days, years from us until we look back and realize that it’s gone forever…eff you life. You’re a thief and I hate you for it.
You’ll never remember what happened every single day of your life..on the day you die, you will only remember the big things. Those handful of moments that orchestrated how your life would be forever changed. I hate most of those moments so what am I going to think on those last few seconds of my life? Will I leave this earth unhappy? Will I have regrets? Will I wish for just one more of those perfect moments with the one I love?
What would you do if you could make time stand completely still? What moments would you freezeframe in your mind forever?
why is it that the people that break you down and make you a scared little monster are always the ones you can’t let go of? that have the tightest grip around your heart?
why is it that best friends are sometimes the worst friends?
why aren’t there more people out there to catch their neighbors…
why is it that the people that break you down and make you a scared little monster are always the ones you can’t let go of? that have the tightest grip around your heart?
why is it that best friends are sometimes the worst friends?
why aren’t there more people out there to catch their neighbors when they fall?
its backwards. and upside down. and ten-thousand different kinds of crazy.
these things are pretty common in most peoples lives. and i feel like i see it every day, not only in my own life, but in the lives of other people around me. and i feel like we all have the ability to change that. so why don’t we?
who cares if you don’t know somebody that well. who cares if they’ve been mean to you in the past? look past it. they’re just as human as you are…naturally, they’ve got a beating heart and living soul inside them as well.
maybe you’ve been in this situation before, i know i have… you’re having a shitty day (excuse my french), and you’re to the point where you just want to give up…you don’t want to even try any more. you’re at your break-down point. well, i can’t tell you enough how often i wished that at these points, somebody would notice, and would just come up to me, look me in the eye, and tell me, ”hey. maybe i don’t know how you feel. maybe i do. but either way i know you’re going to make it through.”
sometimes the people you barely know are the ones who can get you through. why not try to be one of those people?
be the light at the end of a tunnel
